so let me tell you about this movie.
when i was eleven or so, i was like, on the cusp of a kid who could tell a good movie from a bad one. like, when you’re little, you’ll just watch any shit they put in front of your face, right? well one day we went out with my grandma, and i wanted to see the movie eight below, but she knew a dog died in it so we went to see this instead.
now like, here’s the thing about this movie: i’ve only seen it once. i was sitting in the theater, 11, and i have limited memory of what happens
- theres this dog, who in my memory, was a vain, selfish asshole who ate a lot of candy and deserved none of the hero shit he got at the end
- there were two jack in the boxes but one of them was like an elsa jack in the box who wanted to freeze the world
- they had to find the macguffin, which i think was a diamond?
- i remember when one of the jackin the boxes “died” i, an 11 year old, thought “he so did not just die” and he didn’t.
- a scene where the ice evil guy says “you can have three months off in the summer” to the henchman and the henchmans like shit REALLY and then he says “there will be no summer” and i thought like well there will be it’ll just be cold? the fuck
anyways what i didn’t know is that in Great Britain/France, this was a movie based on a TV show, one that wouldn’t normally have epic adventures and the like. the show and movie was called The Magic Roundabout, and it was like…i could imagine it being good if you liked the show. like it would be good the same way the Spongebob Squarepants movie is good to us who grew up with it.
BUT HERE’S THE WEIRD PART:
everyone in Doogal has an americanized voice actor. not just the accents, but like, recognizable. my grandmother actually said “is that jon stewart” when the villain (WHOS NAME WAS “ZEEBAD” WAY TO BE SUBTLE”) joined. that’s because, when released in america, the movie was COMPLETELY RECUT AND REDUB.
i’ll quote the wiki here
Fairly Oddparents writer Butch Hartman also rewrote the storyline to accommodate multiple pop culture references (mostly from the The Lord of the Rings) and flatulence jokes (neither of which were present in the original release).
like. you literally could not write this shit to be funnier in a fucking movie. i am sad that i lacked the capacity to write this as a screenplay, thi sis some next level bullshit.
anyways, when i got in the car, my grandma looked at me the way she lookeed at me every time we watched a movie (and i had subjected her to some bad ones) and said “well, what’d you think? i liked it.” and i knew she was fucking with me, so i literally just burst into tears. this wasnt like a 4 year old, this was an 11 year old, and 11 year olds usually do not burst into tears. when she got me home, and my dad asked why i looked so upset, my grandma was just like “i don’t know, i think the movie upset her, there weresome scary scenes?”
no, grandma. 11 year old me was crying to lay rest to film as an art form. i literally stood in my room and promised i would never watch a movie again without being critical.
2 weeks later i say 8 below and fucking loved it, so thanks grandma.